On The Makings Of A Book

erika i would call you but i know you are carolina by now.

and vacation is important and from the looks of it you are getting what you need and thank you so much for the message beneath the moon. your sons look like you especially the oldest one he has an energy of you that i could tell even by looking at a picture from behind

i wrote pages on pages, it turns out it was introduction~good clean stuff too about ghosts but that's not really what it was about it was real, non-fiction and sharp with no nonsense about the points and i was proud of it and up til one every nite this week

then last night my computer it just died on me.

and of course i didn't back any of it up which really i know better it was just so late the other nite and my eyes were so bleary with the tired

i was on the phone with dell for one hour this morning before i got cut-off, then 16 minutes when i called back on hold. and it is not usually my style to yell but i did and with the articulate cut in my voice that i have seen shrink people at their knees. finally i hung up without getting anywhere and with the angry that is so sad there is not even any crying.

i drove all the way to town to the employment office to get my work computer to keep going. i cant quit now, it is all i have. i cant. quit. now.

as to my blog every nite late after i write i see this new blog it is black with pink screen and it is a way for me to let out the primal flow that curves and ribbons through my soul that time a nite after i been so long writing, how it just continues to come and come

i am smoking cigarettes again. and staying up late, so late

after all i've lost, poetry, what would there be if it weren't for you?