September 17, 2008
September 16, 2008
i am anamericanconsumer i am anamericanconsumer i am (say it with me) anamericanconsumer...does this life-style ever end!?: when the economy goes down the toilet best thing to do is flaunt your junk....literally. wow. i am laughing, and exasperating, out loud right now, wondering if it's true what i sometimes think that after this life-through ends i will be delivered back to that shining white tree-full land from where i came and they will be like, so, could you even believe being human???
September 15, 2008
Full Moon Meditation
Last night was the full moon--or early this morning anyhow, round 5.I caught this shot at about 6:30 am, literally as la luna was setting herself discreetly behind the clouds...
...and this other while driving north on 213 Saturday evening
Autumn Equinox is this weekend...the nights length passing over to grow longer than the day and I love the Autumn, that great triumph of space that gathers itself in a bundle, the long slow sigh of the earth. A breeze is blowing so great on the farm right now--through the windows, moving the curtains way out and making me very aware of the lines of my body. The full moon is past, but that doesn't change the spirit of a Harvest Moon in the fall.
Harvest moons bring to the surface the bounty of your year...
Look lightly on yourself now, do you like what you see? This is a strong, though subtle week. Take time to yourself, give your insides a peek--this truly is the time of year to be especially conscious of what "you're putting out there" right now. So get out there, root, connect to the deep breathing earth and the far-growing sky and try some Wonder...
September 13, 2008
Because I Feel Like It
yes yes yes, a weekend all to me, starting despairingly bc i dear reader am always no-thing if not dramatically self-involved in the happenings or so perceived non-happenings of my very own life...and do tend to let such perceptions overcome the best of me...
so said, what a glory day i've had since yesterday passed and i subsequently got my head out of my ass. handscrubbed my versa this afternoon after a trip to the library--where my card was so outdated i had to open a new account in order to check out Girls Like Us Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon--and the Journey of a Generation which called to me literally off of the shelf as i passed it by. i hoped, as i heaped said work and a slathering poetry books on the counter, that it would deliver me in a similar mythically-steeped retrieval of trailblazer femin-ista historia as diPrima's bio My Life as a Woman The New York Years did. and so far i am adequately quenched.
made some jewelry today, too. and wrote a poem. tonite, it's my plan, after the moon goes up and the light is all over the land the way only darktime light can be, i am going to write. like, maybe even all nite long....
May Day
I've decided to waste my life again,
Like I used to: get drunk on
The light in the leaves, find a wall
Against which something can happen,
Whatever may have happened
Long ago—let a bullet hole echoing
The will of an executioner, a crevice
In which a love note was hidden,
Be a cell where a struggling tendril
Utters a few spare syllables at dawn.
I've decided to waste my life
In a new way, to forget whoever
Touched a hair on my head, because
It doesn't matter what came to pass,
Only that it passed, because we repeat
Ourselves, we repeat ourselves.
I've decided to walk a long way
Out of the way, to allow something
Dreaded to waken for no good reason,
Let it go without saying,
Let it go as it will to the place
It will go without saying: a wall
Against which a body was pressed
For no good reason, other than this.
Phillis Levin
so said, what a glory day i've had since yesterday passed and i subsequently got my head out of my ass. handscrubbed my versa this afternoon after a trip to the library--where my card was so outdated i had to open a new account in order to check out Girls Like Us Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon--and the Journey of a Generation which called to me literally off of the shelf as i passed it by. i hoped, as i heaped said work and a slathering poetry books on the counter, that it would deliver me in a similar mythically-steeped retrieval of trailblazer femin-ista historia as diPrima's bio My Life as a Woman The New York Years did. and so far i am adequately quenched.
made some jewelry today, too. and wrote a poem. tonite, it's my plan, after the moon goes up and the light is all over the land the way only darktime light can be, i am going to write. like, maybe even all nite long....
May Day
I've decided to waste my life again,
Like I used to: get drunk on
The light in the leaves, find a wall
Against which something can happen,
Whatever may have happened
Long ago—let a bullet hole echoing
The will of an executioner, a crevice
In which a love note was hidden,
Be a cell where a struggling tendril
Utters a few spare syllables at dawn.
I've decided to waste my life
In a new way, to forget whoever
Touched a hair on my head, because
It doesn't matter what came to pass,
Only that it passed, because we repeat
Ourselves, we repeat ourselves.
I've decided to walk a long way
Out of the way, to allow something
Dreaded to waken for no good reason,
Let it go without saying,
Let it go as it will to the place
It will go without saying: a wall
Against which a body was pressed
For no good reason, other than this.
Phillis Levin
September 10, 2008
grace of movement
Yeah, so really, I've never been good at balance. Seriously, I mean the great quest to land the right combo of caine and wine, or weed beer and ex--these were fastidious choices i so thought would educate me in the wide wide world of what it would mean to be adult.
it doesn't work so good--trying to achieve that state of balance, some elusive chemical equilibrium, by messing around w the wiring like that in your head.
sometimes i think it took me the first five years of sobriety just drying out--like just to get some air, come up to breathe, make things not re-wire but un. dont know why this is on my mind--maybe cuz i got to spend some great time w those homefries that did me so good in the early days of what it meant to be clean, and young.
either way, here i am days and days since i wrote out loud!! as does this format of blog deliver me--and all bc i am pulling crazy long, and late hours at my new job. haven't seen the potlucking crew in ever, too.
but the miracle--i know that this is part of the pendulum swing, and i am standing, perched there on the edge, my feet steady hard stuck in but also dangling off just a little and the ground moving fast past me as i swing there, steady even, too and fro.
maybe balance has nothing to do at all w standing still?
perhaps its the perfect movement, the grace of the swing--the inner awareness of where you are being exactly how you are making it through, how there is no next step w out the one on the other side, that came before---
and guess what? i like my new job--i actually do. how cool--
it doesn't work so good--trying to achieve that state of balance, some elusive chemical equilibrium, by messing around w the wiring like that in your head.
sometimes i think it took me the first five years of sobriety just drying out--like just to get some air, come up to breathe, make things not re-wire but un. dont know why this is on my mind--maybe cuz i got to spend some great time w those homefries that did me so good in the early days of what it meant to be clean, and young.
either way, here i am days and days since i wrote out loud!! as does this format of blog deliver me--and all bc i am pulling crazy long, and late hours at my new job. haven't seen the potlucking crew in ever, too.
but the miracle--i know that this is part of the pendulum swing, and i am standing, perched there on the edge, my feet steady hard stuck in but also dangling off just a little and the ground moving fast past me as i swing there, steady even, too and fro.
maybe balance has nothing to do at all w standing still?
perhaps its the perfect movement, the grace of the swing--the inner awareness of where you are being exactly how you are making it through, how there is no next step w out the one on the other side, that came before---
and guess what? i like my new job--i actually do. how cool--
September 2, 2008
Angel Moves
Wow. Lots going on. The MGY gang just left--hosting this conference for young ppl recovering from drugs and booze is a loooot of work!! but enjoyable work, and we are officially at t-minus 17 days and counting until the big event. i am wowed and awed by the simple, powerful preciousness of bringing hearts together for a common good. two of the ppl on our committee have been clean and sober for one whole year! this week, it is like a room full of sunshine to see the smiles on their sweet faces as they celebrate themselves and anticipate the conference that they dedicated this whole past year of their life to, too.
i am blessed.
(you are too.) (believe it.)
listen, if you want to see something beautiful that absolutely tears at your heart strings, go to this link and watch "Cameron Dances." it's my "baby" amy's baby doing those angelic moves....
http://www.youtube.com/user/keithojensen
i am working like a maniac at my new job, and getting ready for this conference, and loving fall and in general showing up and believing in life. that's really all it takes sometimes, huh?
may you, too, believe....
i am blessed.
(you are too.) (believe it.)
listen, if you want to see something beautiful that absolutely tears at your heart strings, go to this link and watch "Cameron Dances." it's my "baby" amy's baby doing those angelic moves....
http://www.youtube.com/user/keithojensen
i am working like a maniac at my new job, and getting ready for this conference, and loving fall and in general showing up and believing in life. that's really all it takes sometimes, huh?
may you, too, believe....
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