Who am I writing to if not ever to me? It’s been a hell of a year. A hell of one. A long one, one that negates any prior necessity of predisposed positioning (there it is again, that garble tongue defense mechanism keep them in circles and you can get out before they even know they’ve been spun) and just tells you one day: there you are, here I am, and most of all: Forget it all. How the hell did this happen.
I don’t know what I want to say. Poetry comes out used to only to him. The ovulatory time gets here and I am caught up on some man, every time, and all my thirsty creative energy goes out the door in long timeless bouts of headtrip and daydream. This is better than it going out on Adult Ed? I tell myself. But it is true, I am only third cycle in to my new life…had to get him out of my system last go round and it worked, it really did he is not even with no power now but simple and straight, not there, and that is the first time I ever wrote that scared as I always was that it would jinx things. That somehow without him the ovulatory release wouldn’t come again? And yet it did, it does…and it scares me the difference it really does. And makes me smile because, what else can I do? And chill Kel you are the one of all who always has to tell others—so this time just tell yourself: accept yourself all of yourself for where you are this moment and do not judge. It’s ok if there is always some man. I just remembered a dream I had last night, a large house in the woods on a corner of the ocean, on an island it reminds me in my aftersight of Vinyl Haven. It reminds me of Todd. I’ve been drinking coffee like mad not for all the work I am doing but for the late night fun I’m keeping, so even my sleep feels buzzed and sort of live-wired. It is light on the back porch, light air, light noise in the trees. One time a long time ago I used to sneak out from here out the side window of Tim and Mary’s bedroom and sneak through the secret patterned paths through the woods. Todd’s house Kohuts Lemers and more. Even longer time ago before that I used to go bikeriding just before night in the dusk to explore all the different side roads that led to more and more undiscovered parts of Ocean Pines. I hate it when things don’t make sense, a month ago they did, I was on fire, I had a book to write and so much poetry and little projects and pictures to make and send to friends. Now I am confused again, so much unknown, it is retrograde time before the equinox, time of the great review and rest before the shift. And what is happening to me is hard to pin down I hate it, hate it when I am not in control. Witness witness that is all there is right now to do… That is the great secret of me, the one that only the truest friends know. My free spirit is only free because it's the result of the last great opposition inside me. I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL. So I challenge myself, even, especially, finally, with that….
The other thing is that to be honest scares people. People exist and function in their categorized boxes: to say I am confused, equivalent of this in people’s head she is not happy. That is funny, lacks the process and any semblance of the grand picture, so myopic all about meeeeeee! Reflex reflexivity. Shows zero intuitive capacity, no real sense of the mystery or even a thumbprint idea of the design. I am more than happy, so happy it makes me giggle to think about my life and also makes me smile. I am an ace the ace and the wild card, able to be happy in whatever circumstance I am given to roll in because that is life and I want to live all I can while I’m here. Center in the moment and open to exactly what is in front of you happening right now. What else is there than that? It’s just that living sometimes, living the moment is being full of unanswers, and that is hard, but hard only means process, not bad. She tells herself. If that doesn’t work get some sleep. Sunshine, or water. Ahhh this very long year I don’t even remember who it was I used to be…Mercury retro scrolls like this it is tough to contain, it is tough because you are in limbo hanging there in the water and the water is a ripcurrent and you’re afraid if you go under there is no air. On Sept 12 we will come out, the quickening will occur then and then—equinox onthesamedayexactly as the full moon!!!! O people, if you only understood. If only you took a minute, looked over your own order to the Ordered Nature of things, easiest way to it just go sit outside a moment on the lawn. Listen, listen to the noise, elemental, of the days. Listen to the trees sway, listen to feel the airbreathbreeze. Warm your blood in the sun. The answers are there, nothing else, no need to run. It’s been a long year, PS, I love you, says the moon, the sun, the trees. And me.
Showing posts with label Mercury Retrograde. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mercury Retrograde. Show all posts
August 27, 2010
May 9, 2010
Taking a stand.
You've heard this axiom before, right? Stand for something or fall for everything?
I agree, but still am particularly cautious about what I stand behind. Because with wisdom comes responsibility. So to take a stand for something, in my opinion, implies responsibility to whatever you are claiming.
And responsibility is inherent of our behaviour--not who but how we be. Thus, being responsible becomes a character thing, quite legitimately being the change.
It's the end of mercury retrograde. That means that most of this week I've spent in review, not writing much because of all the watching. Lots of troubled stuff and lots of mundane, the samskaras surfacing. This is happening for us all right now, this is one of the inner mysteries it just is. Much as possible I've tried to merely witness what my spirit is showing. Allowing the automatic surfacing to guide me deeper into my experiences in life as a conscious, open person.
The review is almost over now though, it is Sunday, I have one week left of work then five days before I start my move! I am excited, terrified, and eager for it all. I am trying to stay perched on the edge of my life, of my daily experiences as a newcomer to the world: open, engaged, in awe.
Which brings me to the beach yesterday, Ocean City, a storm coming up. The way it moved caught me in that place of wild women, of wild sacred spirit: The sacred inner S/HE/IT. That tension of compulsion how sumptious it is. The authentic struggle, listing between the tides of self and inner speak and passion and the real day-to-day walking in the world of job and friends, places to be and stuff to do. In that center place, in the Great Still where the wild yowl of potential and passion surrender to the practical every day--in there the ocean air engorged with the thunder air coming from the north and I literally felt my rebel yell echo against a curve in the Atlantic sky.
That echo. A reminder of the power of the unseen magic of the world.
It was Mandy, Shannon, me. Two, then three, then four of Shannon's other friends with us. Not a lot of talking, just sitting, and some laughing in the sand and let me tell you nothing in life feels like a thunder storm moving in over the ocean and when it came the ocean turned the weirdest, most melancholy green. Then it was black all over the sky, and then the first flash and we got up to go. It'd been hot up til then but the night before outside the club the air was coming off the sea. And then yesterday the storm came and was followed by perfect blue sky, but by last night the wind was blowing like mad, the weather'd shifted, the humidity that brought the lightening and thunder is gone and in Easton today I have to have a sweatshirt on over my tee. And most of all, that place in me, the center place is awakened and charged~engaged by the magic that the natural world rooted in me.
I am taking a stand. It came around this morning after a spontaneous talk with Rudy-Satva, after remembering the impression of Shaman Bob last night in the middle of my deep, deep and otherwise dreamless sleep, after remembering that alluring reminder of magic behind the thunderocean wind. The veil over this world, the power of the unseen. It is real it is real it is real but it is up to us to walk that reality in to being. And so there is the one thing to which I am taking a stand, putting my responsibility behind. All else, the book, the boarding house, OC, Pac NW, Baltimore or Mexico, Hawaii or Crownsville, travelling or staying still~is secondary to this one thing.
Opening up to the Power inside. The deep, unyeilding power within. Being responsible to it, being responsive to it. Recognizing as within, so without. And from within, from that inner spot where I own myself and open up to the world of who I am, so too do I converge with the outter world and the day to day. It is this power that connects me to you, and to her, and to him, and to the earth and to the thunder and to the sky and to the sea. Elemental, because atomically none of us are any different and atoms react to the energy of other atoms. Get it? Within is my duty, yes, but the the living of it day to day is what matters most to me. Being struck and awed by the outter expression of thunder and electric which too is inside of me. Being struck and present in the exchange with a stranger on the street, or with mom on the phone. Being aware of my reactions, responsible to them. It is what I believe we each are charged with doing. Illuminating ourselves, and living this light, one person to one person to whole groups at a time.
Are you paying attention? Am I paying attention? To the faintest inner stirring, to the thunder rebel yell, to the conversation, to the image in the dream? Am I telling myself it doesn't matter, or am I opening up unto the mystery, and encouraging the open moment with what could be.
Consciousness, for lack of a better term and in order to make no religious association. What I am standing for, being alive, being awake, being conscious to me. What if none of it matters.
Sure that's probably true. But what if I decide it does? What if by virtue of that decision, of that one thing to stand for~it does?
Then what?
Then I take my stand.
I agree, but still am particularly cautious about what I stand behind. Because with wisdom comes responsibility. So to take a stand for something, in my opinion, implies responsibility to whatever you are claiming.
And responsibility is inherent of our behaviour--not who but how we be. Thus, being responsible becomes a character thing, quite legitimately being the change.
It's the end of mercury retrograde. That means that most of this week I've spent in review, not writing much because of all the watching. Lots of troubled stuff and lots of mundane, the samskaras surfacing. This is happening for us all right now, this is one of the inner mysteries it just is. Much as possible I've tried to merely witness what my spirit is showing. Allowing the automatic surfacing to guide me deeper into my experiences in life as a conscious, open person.
The review is almost over now though, it is Sunday, I have one week left of work then five days before I start my move! I am excited, terrified, and eager for it all. I am trying to stay perched on the edge of my life, of my daily experiences as a newcomer to the world: open, engaged, in awe.
Which brings me to the beach yesterday, Ocean City, a storm coming up. The way it moved caught me in that place of wild women, of wild sacred spirit: The sacred inner S/HE/IT. That tension of compulsion how sumptious it is. The authentic struggle, listing between the tides of self and inner speak and passion and the real day-to-day walking in the world of job and friends, places to be and stuff to do. In that center place, in the Great Still where the wild yowl of potential and passion surrender to the practical every day--in there the ocean air engorged with the thunder air coming from the north and I literally felt my rebel yell echo against a curve in the Atlantic sky.
That echo. A reminder of the power of the unseen magic of the world.
It was Mandy, Shannon, me. Two, then three, then four of Shannon's other friends with us. Not a lot of talking, just sitting, and some laughing in the sand and let me tell you nothing in life feels like a thunder storm moving in over the ocean and when it came the ocean turned the weirdest, most melancholy green. Then it was black all over the sky, and then the first flash and we got up to go. It'd been hot up til then but the night before outside the club the air was coming off the sea. And then yesterday the storm came and was followed by perfect blue sky, but by last night the wind was blowing like mad, the weather'd shifted, the humidity that brought the lightening and thunder is gone and in Easton today I have to have a sweatshirt on over my tee. And most of all, that place in me, the center place is awakened and charged~engaged by the magic that the natural world rooted in me.
I am taking a stand. It came around this morning after a spontaneous talk with Rudy-Satva, after remembering the impression of Shaman Bob last night in the middle of my deep, deep and otherwise dreamless sleep, after remembering that alluring reminder of magic behind the thunderocean wind. The veil over this world, the power of the unseen. It is real it is real it is real but it is up to us to walk that reality in to being. And so there is the one thing to which I am taking a stand, putting my responsibility behind. All else, the book, the boarding house, OC, Pac NW, Baltimore or Mexico, Hawaii or Crownsville, travelling or staying still~is secondary to this one thing.
Opening up to the Power inside. The deep, unyeilding power within. Being responsible to it, being responsive to it. Recognizing as within, so without. And from within, from that inner spot where I own myself and open up to the world of who I am, so too do I converge with the outter world and the day to day. It is this power that connects me to you, and to her, and to him, and to the earth and to the thunder and to the sky and to the sea. Elemental, because atomically none of us are any different and atoms react to the energy of other atoms. Get it? Within is my duty, yes, but the the living of it day to day is what matters most to me. Being struck and awed by the outter expression of thunder and electric which too is inside of me. Being struck and present in the exchange with a stranger on the street, or with mom on the phone. Being aware of my reactions, responsible to them. It is what I believe we each are charged with doing. Illuminating ourselves, and living this light, one person to one person to whole groups at a time.
Are you paying attention? Am I paying attention? To the faintest inner stirring, to the thunder rebel yell, to the conversation, to the image in the dream? Am I telling myself it doesn't matter, or am I opening up unto the mystery, and encouraging the open moment with what could be.
Consciousness, for lack of a better term and in order to make no religious association. What I am standing for, being alive, being awake, being conscious to me. What if none of it matters.
Sure that's probably true. But what if I decide it does? What if by virtue of that decision, of that one thing to stand for~it does?
Then what?
Then I take my stand.
May 5, 2009
More on the Retro
Hey pals, this morning this was in one of my inbox's, from astrology.com
It's more info about Mercury Retro, and it's pretty accesible, too. For whatever it's worth, I've been following the effects of Merc Retros for about three or four years now. I myself am taking care of finaces, oil changes, debts and bills and old emailing (for example my work inbox which last night at last count had 108 unopened) over the next two days. All of these, coincidentally, have piled way up. When a planet goes retro, or backwards, the reality is it just sort of stands still. Read on, there is good explanation, and believe me I've lived it enough to have learned that preparation like what I mentioned above right now is important. Trust me, it will help things not get willynilly....
Geminis, Pisces, Virgos, Sagitarius' especially take heart:
Mercury, the planet of communication, goes retrograde for the second time this year on May 6-7 (depending upon your time zone). Mercury normally turns retrograde three times a year -- however, in 2009 Mercury turns retrograde four different times. The effects of each retrograde period differ depending on the sign in which it occurs. This time around, Mercury is turning retrograde in Gemini -- its home base. Mercury is the ruler of Gemini! Both Gemini and Mercury govern communications, the way we pick up information and process thoughts. Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education and transportation. Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings as well as flawed, disrupted or delayed communications, negotiations and trade glitches, and breakdowns with phones, computers, vehicles. This retrograde period, step back from decision-making, agreements, contracts and use this review time to your benefit. Write down the pros and cons of everything since your mind will not settle on anything one hundred percent! When Mercury turns direct on May 30, you'll have greater clarity and are more likely to make good decisions. If possible, avoid buying communication-related products such as computers and phones. Keep receipts if you do. If you are traveling, double-check your reservations and bring a good book to read and plenty of games for the kids in case you are delayed. From late in the evening of May 13 through the end of the retrograde period, Mercury will be transiting the sign of Taurus, the sign ruling money. Decisions about investments and handling of finances should also be put off during this period. Like any cosmic event, this retrograde affects each of us differently depending on how it's positioned in our personal birth charts. A Mercury retrograde period may be very prosperous for those who have retrograde Mercury, or a well-aspected Mercury, in their birth charts. While a retrograde period may be an introspective time for all of us, if Gemini is prominent in your chart, you will have more than your usual share of introspection. Gemini is a mutable sign, so if other mutable signs -- Pisces, Virgo, Sagittarius -- are prominent in your chart, you will also experience a period of intense self-examination.
It's more info about Mercury Retro, and it's pretty accesible, too. For whatever it's worth, I've been following the effects of Merc Retros for about three or four years now. I myself am taking care of finaces, oil changes, debts and bills and old emailing (for example my work inbox which last night at last count had 108 unopened) over the next two days. All of these, coincidentally, have piled way up. When a planet goes retro, or backwards, the reality is it just sort of stands still. Read on, there is good explanation, and believe me I've lived it enough to have learned that preparation like what I mentioned above right now is important. Trust me, it will help things not get willynilly....
Geminis, Pisces, Virgos, Sagitarius' especially take heart:
Mercury, the planet of communication, goes retrograde for the second time this year on May 6-7 (depending upon your time zone). Mercury normally turns retrograde three times a year -- however, in 2009 Mercury turns retrograde four different times. The effects of each retrograde period differ depending on the sign in which it occurs. This time around, Mercury is turning retrograde in Gemini -- its home base. Mercury is the ruler of Gemini! Both Gemini and Mercury govern communications, the way we pick up information and process thoughts. Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education and transportation. Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings as well as flawed, disrupted or delayed communications, negotiations and trade glitches, and breakdowns with phones, computers, vehicles. This retrograde period, step back from decision-making, agreements, contracts and use this review time to your benefit. Write down the pros and cons of everything since your mind will not settle on anything one hundred percent! When Mercury turns direct on May 30, you'll have greater clarity and are more likely to make good decisions. If possible, avoid buying communication-related products such as computers and phones. Keep receipts if you do. If you are traveling, double-check your reservations and bring a good book to read and plenty of games for the kids in case you are delayed. From late in the evening of May 13 through the end of the retrograde period, Mercury will be transiting the sign of Taurus, the sign ruling money. Decisions about investments and handling of finances should also be put off during this period. Like any cosmic event, this retrograde affects each of us differently depending on how it's positioned in our personal birth charts. A Mercury retrograde period may be very prosperous for those who have retrograde Mercury, or a well-aspected Mercury, in their birth charts. While a retrograde period may be an introspective time for all of us, if Gemini is prominent in your chart, you will have more than your usual share of introspection. Gemini is a mutable sign, so if other mutable signs -- Pisces, Virgo, Sagittarius -- are prominent in your chart, you will also experience a period of intense self-examination.
January 29, 2009
Remember the Oregon Dialogue? I Get Esoteric on that Ass...
(skip down to get the esoteric highlights for the next several days!!)
Ahhhh, my dear friends.
Here's where I wax nostalgic and take us a back a mere three years ago to when Brandon and I, freshfaced and PacWest-eyed, returned home from the West Coast and sought to empower the ideals we learned and lived on the road and out there right here on the Eastern Shore, Chestertown, USA.
We began with gathering in our living road at Truslow Road--remember that joyous spot--and eventually created a newsletter around our efforts. Our "efforts" were largely principal-based, concerned with lots of potluck-inspired meetings of the minds. We were educating people, and each other, on environmental stewardship and community building. For me the substance of this always was ethical responsibility first, thus self-knowledge and personal accountability--inner development--were integral to such a movement in my mind. Likewise, the importance of the arts, of self-expression, of inner-reflection through practice of submitting to the impulse itself and then further, sharing one's experience with each another, this all was equal to me in the foundation of community building. Eventually during that time I stumbled on to Starhawk and started reading her stuff--we have a lot of the same viewpoints--(you can read her thoughts on ethics and accountability and earth spirituality here) and also met Regina at LightPaths in Centreville around that time, too. She turned me on to nightlightnews.org, where the author, Risa, gave me permission to disseminate her great esoteric insights. Esoteria to me means the hands-on walking of self-development, in other words utilizing the symbolism in various myths and messagry to apply to your own inner growth. For me, further, it has to do with an autonomous understanding of all things being universal, or divine, of all energies rising and falling and influencing and blending one with the other with the other as the ultimate reality is we are all one energy, blending and surging in chaotic harmony.
The Oregon Dialogue, our short-ran newsletter, and the community gatherings around it evolved in to the oregondialogue emails, where by I would network, invite people to community events, keep people informed of issues, and most of all share my esoteric thoughts at certain opportune, or energetic, times of the year.
Dig it: for those of you first finding yourselves opening up to this tip, let me just tell you, this self-development esoteric trip has been, in a conscious way anyhow, going on about 10 years now for me. It's so common I don't even know any other way to live anymore--like as example I don't even get it anymore that people don't know about Imbolc coming up, or the influence--major!--of Mercury Retro right now. To me it's all so natural a part of my understanding of the oneness of things--of GOD if you will--that it puzzles me to have to remember that to most people this is new, or even not true! information.
So to those with their own wonderings: I Speak To You. It's there, it's real. The transformation, the new consciousness, all of it. It's tough though, it's a step by step you being the change from day to day process. There's no wizard with a magic wand who's gonna appear in your steps all a sudden and tap you on the shoulder and say Hey, It's On!! It's a gradual thing, and we are all here to wake up to it. So if this message is coming to you, good! Welcome! Say yes! Then begin to look, and listen, to within....
Important Esoteric Highlights:
1. Monday was New Moon with a solar eclipse. In terms of inner-development: our sun is our light, think daily awareness. Our moon is our night, think mystery or unconscious, as in sleep with dreams. They come together, the subconscious to block out the regular awareness for a brief, deep jolt. Each voids the other out, then begin again together, having merged, in a dancing and magical blend--starting for you and your soul a whole new spiral of energy and light. Think DNA double helix, vibrating with not yet formed thoughts through-out your whole soul. New moon is new beginning, solar eclipse is new beginning in the physical world--remember--it's "light of day" stuff. So actual real new thoughts, ideas, opportunities etc. What newness came to you? Think about it. Woohoo!
2. Mercury ends its retrograde this weekend. Thank gawd! Hope you made no major decisions the past three weeks (at work we are changing everything!! I've had to try so hard to keep my mouth closed about it, wanting to say ahhhh!!!just wait til were out of Mercury cuz all new information will surface and change everything!!) You've been in deep, almost unconscious soul review. Running over and over those double helixes. Anicha anicha, the nature of everything, changing changing. If your head's been loud that's why. Pay attention to the messages you got. For real.
Ahhhh, my dear friends.
Here's where I wax nostalgic and take us a back a mere three years ago to when Brandon and I, freshfaced and PacWest-eyed, returned home from the West Coast and sought to empower the ideals we learned and lived on the road and out there right here on the Eastern Shore, Chestertown, USA.
We began with gathering in our living road at Truslow Road--remember that joyous spot--and eventually created a newsletter around our efforts. Our "efforts" were largely principal-based, concerned with lots of potluck-inspired meetings of the minds. We were educating people, and each other, on environmental stewardship and community building. For me the substance of this always was ethical responsibility first, thus self-knowledge and personal accountability--inner development--were integral to such a movement in my mind. Likewise, the importance of the arts, of self-expression, of inner-reflection through practice of submitting to the impulse itself and then further, sharing one's experience with each another, this all was equal to me in the foundation of community building. Eventually during that time I stumbled on to Starhawk and started reading her stuff--we have a lot of the same viewpoints--(you can read her thoughts on ethics and accountability and earth spirituality here) and also met Regina at LightPaths in Centreville around that time, too. She turned me on to nightlightnews.org, where the author, Risa, gave me permission to disseminate her great esoteric insights. Esoteria to me means the hands-on walking of self-development, in other words utilizing the symbolism in various myths and messagry to apply to your own inner growth. For me, further, it has to do with an autonomous understanding of all things being universal, or divine, of all energies rising and falling and influencing and blending one with the other with the other as the ultimate reality is we are all one energy, blending and surging in chaotic harmony.
The Oregon Dialogue, our short-ran newsletter, and the community gatherings around it evolved in to the oregondialogue emails, where by I would network, invite people to community events, keep people informed of issues, and most of all share my esoteric thoughts at certain opportune, or energetic, times of the year.
Dig it: for those of you first finding yourselves opening up to this tip, let me just tell you, this self-development esoteric trip has been, in a conscious way anyhow, going on about 10 years now for me. It's so common I don't even know any other way to live anymore--like as example I don't even get it anymore that people don't know about Imbolc coming up, or the influence--major!--of Mercury Retro right now. To me it's all so natural a part of my understanding of the oneness of things--of GOD if you will--that it puzzles me to have to remember that to most people this is new, or even not true! information.
So to those with their own wonderings: I Speak To You. It's there, it's real. The transformation, the new consciousness, all of it. It's tough though, it's a step by step you being the change from day to day process. There's no wizard with a magic wand who's gonna appear in your steps all a sudden and tap you on the shoulder and say Hey, It's On!! It's a gradual thing, and we are all here to wake up to it. So if this message is coming to you, good! Welcome! Say yes! Then begin to look, and listen, to within....
Important Esoteric Highlights:
1. Monday was New Moon with a solar eclipse. In terms of inner-development: our sun is our light, think daily awareness. Our moon is our night, think mystery or unconscious, as in sleep with dreams. They come together, the subconscious to block out the regular awareness for a brief, deep jolt. Each voids the other out, then begin again together, having merged, in a dancing and magical blend--starting for you and your soul a whole new spiral of energy and light. Think DNA double helix, vibrating with not yet formed thoughts through-out your whole soul. New moon is new beginning, solar eclipse is new beginning in the physical world--remember--it's "light of day" stuff. So actual real new thoughts, ideas, opportunities etc. What newness came to you? Think about it. Woohoo!
2. Mercury ends its retrograde this weekend. Thank gawd! Hope you made no major decisions the past three weeks (at work we are changing everything!! I've had to try so hard to keep my mouth closed about it, wanting to say ahhhh!!!just wait til were out of Mercury cuz all new information will surface and change everything!!) You've been in deep, almost unconscious soul review. Running over and over those double helixes. Anicha anicha, the nature of everything, changing changing. If your head's been loud that's why. Pay attention to the messages you got. For real.
3. Most important! To me bewitched as I am anyway--Imbolc is Monday. This is the old Druid or pagan holiday of first light, benefactor of the Goddess Brigid who is my patron. Later she was claimed as a St. so if you are more comfortable with Christian symbology this week coming is St. Brigid's day, Saint of the Hearth, of fire, midwifery, and poetry. Any way it's a celebration of the first light of life--of fire, of new idea or passion or spark or creativity. For old agricultural societies it was literally time of first seed when they celebrated with the last food of their Harvest and got ready for the growth of the year to come. Also known as Candlemas, this is really archaic Christian/ancient Judaic (with clear roots in the politics of misogyny evident) in application--where in old earth traditions Brigid venerated passion, arts, fire, life, all things symbolic of fertility and creativity and the natural cycles and gifts we each embody within; Candlemas, or Purification of the Virgin, was a time for new mother's to cleanse through various offerings, including that of sacrificial animals, in order to receive the blessing and cleansing of the priest after the dirtied experience of child-birthing. Ain't mythology a trip!?!? Anyhow,
Two Important things about Imbolc. One)I have, in my own life, learned that these old energies and archtypes behind holidays are real, and if you dig the earth as oneness thing, look back to the Full Moon of January 11. This is the traditional lunar celebration of Imbolc. What new energy, new thoughts, new ideas, new passions were sizzling around in you? I just realized myself that that important moon passed unattended by me. So, retrospective learning it is...consider what new passions your soul shined its first light on for you, what is it that your deep self wants for you to grow? Two) This message from the full moon will revisit you this coming week. Because merc is out of retrograde it will seem like ahhhh fresh air. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CLARITY. If you experience anger or stuckness in the early week these are old archetypes (see the explanation just above) that you are meant, indeed you were sent here, to heal. Go within. Rebirth, reclaim yourself. Listen. Listen.
4. There is a stellar sooper cool alignment coming up on Valentines's Day. I'm gonna be with my sistas no doubt raising up the power. Read about it here. Or, go put on that cheesemonger song from the old show Hair, This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius...and listen to the words. You know, about the moon in the 7th sign and stuff. Yea. That's what's happening, literally.
5. That's all. No, it's not. One more thing from my soapbox. Ever ask your self just what the hell you're doing here? Like really looked in to your darkness, disheartened, afraid. Well this is the answer. Wake-up to your self. So we can all help all of us people do the same....
What I'm listening to (support independent music people!): The High and Low outta Cincinnati. They remind me a little of when I first realized my riotgrrrrrrl soul....
Now, that's it....enough outta me.
January 21, 2009
Cycles & Wisdom & Sometimes Getting to Know
In my wyld and at times crazed round about head there is lately an almost daily flash of new thought or insight that I am noticing floating on by.
It's always a wonder to me the way that my thought process, thus my growth goes: how I'll spiral along with these little randoms of new passing thoughts, fresh and clean as a classroom at the start of September. How they delight by my mind's eye dancing from all different slanted and quik-passing directions, til BAM, along comes one of those days when the fluid is so flow, when everything is so right that it all falls together in a tapestry of perception and oneness-of-living that it so brand new and fresh that it is clear that my soul, big and bright, and my subconscious have been busy at it making sense of things for me all the while. How on those BAM days I can be moved to tears in joy over the simple serendipity and obvious blessed harmony of things.
How I want that, all the time. What a sucker I am, you know, for feeling good...
And so what's on my mind today: how I am aware of being in one of those upturns of my own cycle right now. New growth and taking things in. And since I can see it, little flashes of original thought here and there, and have seen this before--I know that it will eventually culminate in a whole new understanding of things. Which increases my amped-ness to know what is on the way....
But then at once such anticipation also births the awareness in me of what it is to be dull: in the lax period, the time of quiet or void that feels like to me nothing but mud, to be with confusion and no dreams...and how this always pre-empts a period of great wonder and new lease, and also always follows a new level of heightened perception and increase.
This sounds manic-depressive, yes? I know I know. But the truth is I believe this to be quite naturally the cycle of the Creative. And I am heartened at how this triumph, this great seizure and breath of life itself, then the inevitable exhale and release so naturally and rythmically follows the world. The earth itself, the flux and flow of the seasons, the living and dying of every breathing detail, of even the moon. My god even the economy, the stock market, it all goes up, and, what the market-eyes will tell you: so too will what goes up come down.
It is Anicha time right now. Time of Great Changing. The time the earth dreams long of what she soon will grow. In this dreamtime is the unmanifest energy of all that you shall be in the year to come. Feel it, magic and subtle as breath passing by your hair. All artists can feel it right now. Unless they're drugged or drunk-numb...(it's hard at times to trust all that sizzle of magic! hell this I know for sure)...You're sure you feel just behind the air--it's almost like a tingle on your skin. The Dreamtime in your subconscious...the slight rush deep within.
Mercury retro will pass at the end of the month and then Imbolc will come. And then, all us earthly people so consumed with our daily lives will, if we are in a place with Winter, forget that Spring shall come. February will hit us hard with the hurt and we will forget: that our daily acts of living indeed are our only form of prayer. Trust this friends and trust yourselves, trust the natural ebb of quiet and rest for what it is--the downtime before the great release. And it follows naturally this spellbound rush then gone, rush then gone, sometimes electric sometimes Still, time of January when your soul-stuff is letting off little glimmers of all that it deeply dares you to Dream.
It's always a wonder to me the way that my thought process, thus my growth goes: how I'll spiral along with these little randoms of new passing thoughts, fresh and clean as a classroom at the start of September. How they delight by my mind's eye dancing from all different slanted and quik-passing directions, til BAM, along comes one of those days when the fluid is so flow, when everything is so right that it all falls together in a tapestry of perception and oneness-of-living that it so brand new and fresh that it is clear that my soul, big and bright, and my subconscious have been busy at it making sense of things for me all the while. How on those BAM days I can be moved to tears in joy over the simple serendipity and obvious blessed harmony of things.
How I want that, all the time. What a sucker I am, you know, for feeling good...
And so what's on my mind today: how I am aware of being in one of those upturns of my own cycle right now. New growth and taking things in. And since I can see it, little flashes of original thought here and there, and have seen this before--I know that it will eventually culminate in a whole new understanding of things. Which increases my amped-ness to know what is on the way....
But then at once such anticipation also births the awareness in me of what it is to be dull: in the lax period, the time of quiet or void that feels like to me nothing but mud, to be with confusion and no dreams...and how this always pre-empts a period of great wonder and new lease, and also always follows a new level of heightened perception and increase.
This sounds manic-depressive, yes? I know I know. But the truth is I believe this to be quite naturally the cycle of the Creative. And I am heartened at how this triumph, this great seizure and breath of life itself, then the inevitable exhale and release so naturally and rythmically follows the world. The earth itself, the flux and flow of the seasons, the living and dying of every breathing detail, of even the moon. My god even the economy, the stock market, it all goes up, and, what the market-eyes will tell you: so too will what goes up come down.
It is Anicha time right now. Time of Great Changing. The time the earth dreams long of what she soon will grow. In this dreamtime is the unmanifest energy of all that you shall be in the year to come. Feel it, magic and subtle as breath passing by your hair. All artists can feel it right now. Unless they're drugged or drunk-numb...(it's hard at times to trust all that sizzle of magic! hell this I know for sure)...You're sure you feel just behind the air--it's almost like a tingle on your skin. The Dreamtime in your subconscious...the slight rush deep within.
Mercury retro will pass at the end of the month and then Imbolc will come. And then, all us earthly people so consumed with our daily lives will, if we are in a place with Winter, forget that Spring shall come. February will hit us hard with the hurt and we will forget: that our daily acts of living indeed are our only form of prayer. Trust this friends and trust yourselves, trust the natural ebb of quiet and rest for what it is--the downtime before the great release. And it follows naturally this spellbound rush then gone, rush then gone, sometimes electric sometimes Still, time of January when your soul-stuff is letting off little glimmers of all that it deeply dares you to Dream.
January 14, 2009
Three is One: Lessons from Mercury Retro
Wow I had such a long day today I feel like I lived a million different lives. At an open house at the college's Continuing Ed department where I work, some of the various aspects of me literally collided this afternoon. I was barely manning the Adult Ed station when I noticed the women next to me had a booth set-up about a Reiki One class she was offering. I introduced myself and we got immediately in to one of those peacefull, clear and heightened-conversations. Next thing you know, out of the blue appears Tai-Chi Wayne from Chestertown, and now the three of us are jamming and in our own little harmonic convergence. Big talks, lots of light. In the middle of all it I notice that the bigboss from the Maryland State Dept of Ed just got there--I knew I needed to get my head over to the crowd around her. Wayne, upon my excusing myself, pulled me in for a quik reiki-share as means of departing, at which moment I was caught red-handed as the freeflowymoonymama I am: there in my Calvin Klein bizness trousers and sharp black fitted-sweater with my college nametag on, the whole Adult Ed staff witnessed my huruguru wyld woman as they sought me out for the bigboss. I took it in stride.
It gets better.
As I'm greeting the MSDE bigboss, here comes my bigboss, the head of the college's Cont Ed Dept. She wants me to meet her daughter, whom she has always claimed is just like me from looks on in. So off we go across the building to the conference room where her daughter is teaching a class. I meet her daughter hello hi hi hello. And then who should appear behind the daughter but Brandon's mom, who is taking the class because it is a farm management class for women. I've not seen his mom but once since I moved off Anngar farm.
Talk about convergence people.
I literally felt like, in those ten minutes time, I was in a revolving door and each time an opening passed it was a window in on my life. And more, for the first time in ever, I understood, like in me!! In my heart not my head!! that life, plainly put, IS NOT segmented. Which was exactly what me and Dena the Reiki Lady and Tai Chi Wayne were talking about: the web of life, the ecological truth of the wholeness, or interconnection, of all earthly things. That there isnoseperating any of it out, how same as run-off effects the river effects the ocean effects the fish effects the humans effects the air effects the stream...So too am I that same example of autonomy, at once functioning within the larger flow of all that effects me and that I effect. As the me who shows up for "real life" and my job is the same me that creates, is the me with the writing as a hobby that keeps me sane. Is the me in love, the me in need of me and Independence, the me who has a community, the me that is alone. And maybe it's true that all of those parts speak in somewhat different forms, but it's still the same voice I use, all as one.
The funny thing is I felt like I should have felt overwhelmed to swallow all of that all at once. And I did, in all honesty, cut out of there hella quik and get on the phone to my friend in Oregon...but I had to be somewhere else anyway. And what counts is I saw it all.
Which brings me to mercury, in retrograde right now. Reviewing reviewing reviewing. An excellent time to let life run its course and sort of just sit back and watch the stream float past, like little picture windows open but with nice screens and open breeze. To try not to get too connected to any of it, any thoughts or ideas or experiences or circumstances, as right now we are literally in soul review prior to first seed of spring. Think of it as a seasonal inventory. Time to take stock, once again, of within.
Anicha. This too shall pass. Anicha. The nature of all things is changing. Anicha. Changing. Anicha. Changing. All things rise. Anicha. All things fall. Anicha. All things pass.
Anicha. All things circle back, and by and by, again. Anicha. So it goes. Anicha. So it goes. Anicha. So may it be.
It gets better.
As I'm greeting the MSDE bigboss, here comes my bigboss, the head of the college's Cont Ed Dept. She wants me to meet her daughter, whom she has always claimed is just like me from looks on in. So off we go across the building to the conference room where her daughter is teaching a class. I meet her daughter hello hi hi hello. And then who should appear behind the daughter but Brandon's mom, who is taking the class because it is a farm management class for women. I've not seen his mom but once since I moved off Anngar farm.
Talk about convergence people.
I literally felt like, in those ten minutes time, I was in a revolving door and each time an opening passed it was a window in on my life. And more, for the first time in ever, I understood, like in me!! In my heart not my head!! that life, plainly put, IS NOT segmented. Which was exactly what me and Dena the Reiki Lady and Tai Chi Wayne were talking about: the web of life, the ecological truth of the wholeness, or interconnection, of all earthly things. That there isnoseperating any of it out, how same as run-off effects the river effects the ocean effects the fish effects the humans effects the air effects the stream...So too am I that same example of autonomy, at once functioning within the larger flow of all that effects me and that I effect. As the me who shows up for "real life" and my job is the same me that creates, is the me with the writing as a hobby that keeps me sane. Is the me in love, the me in need of me and Independence, the me who has a community, the me that is alone. And maybe it's true that all of those parts speak in somewhat different forms, but it's still the same voice I use, all as one.
The funny thing is I felt like I should have felt overwhelmed to swallow all of that all at once. And I did, in all honesty, cut out of there hella quik and get on the phone to my friend in Oregon...but I had to be somewhere else anyway. And what counts is I saw it all.
Which brings me to mercury, in retrograde right now. Reviewing reviewing reviewing. An excellent time to let life run its course and sort of just sit back and watch the stream float past, like little picture windows open but with nice screens and open breeze. To try not to get too connected to any of it, any thoughts or ideas or experiences or circumstances, as right now we are literally in soul review prior to first seed of spring. Think of it as a seasonal inventory. Time to take stock, once again, of within.
Anicha. This too shall pass. Anicha. The nature of all things is changing. Anicha. Changing. Anicha. Changing. All things rise. Anicha. All things fall. Anicha. All things pass.
Anicha. All things circle back, and by and by, again. Anicha. So it goes. Anicha. So it goes. Anicha. So may it be.
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