this still makes me sick, and stuck because even tho there's nothing left it still feels like there's something i must be able to do. there is nothing to figure out i tell my self and your head is not the place to cram with results, those random imaginings how they morph in to fear and corrupt all which you can not see. it makes me sick so deep in me tonight i will read all my work to one who i love, she will help me see? it's been so much, so much deep work all i can do now is share it and then let it go. move on, away from here. all this guilt. it is summertime, july, i once had so much love.
where did you go?
these graces, my furies. katie once said to me why, kel? there is no why it's just because it's your blessing and your curse. please, please god help me keep going, please help it look different than it does right now
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