Bran and I have to have all of our stuff out of the Farm by next weekend and needless to say, that's a hellatona work. I went to bed that night after she asked me only to wake up next morning with a terrible longing for the sea. So I made some calls, and tugged some strings, and next thing you know here comes Erin, and my poppa, to help me get my stuff off Anngar and into the attic at the beach.
So that's how I ended up with her, in the bathroom tonight putting make-up on and being fine. Erin has one of these lip/eye color pallettes with every shade of every shade that ever existed, I'm saying that's like a hundredthousandy shades. It was fun. I complemented her on her artistic abilities with the eye make-up, and she complimented me back...
And then reminded me: when we were kids--or when she was a little little girl that I could dress up like my own personal barbie--I would play Madonna really loud and wear oversized bulky eighties shirts and put ponytails off to the side of the tops of both of our heads and teach her how to put make-up on as only a twelve-year-old to a four-year-old can do.
So here we are, a week before I turn 32 in the middle of me sorting through the last six years of my life and all the scraps of all the different aspects of who you become when you are in a couple and also of who you are when you are in your twenties--and in varying states between repose and sensate overload, between joy and grief so I dont breathe, in silence and the quiet states you dont realize are edged with gold in-between--here we are, me and this girl, me and my family, at the Pines again being glamorous stars.
My family: her parents Tim and Mary my godparents. Teachers by heart and trade, same as so many of my aunts and uncles so that even though I didn't ever want to go in to it or study it somehow teaching is how I process, how I learn, it's really that deep anyhow in my blood. And they are here too and so is my Aunt Sue also a teacher, and me widing the round in some far out isolated-feeling corner on the track of my life, making a turn. Slow as, gentle as, I can. Questioning how I got here, loving my self anyway, and also, where do I go from here?
I go to the Pines for a day. Get my beauty on with cousin Boo. Remember that that is an important part of loving my self too: Fabulousness!
My life gets more and more marvelous every day. My life now gets more marvelous everyday. My life increases in marvelousness everyday.
I love so much, and am so thankful for, my increasingly fabulous life! 
No comments:
Post a Comment