Seattle

This trip has been all about getting exactly what I need.

Which the best part of getting exactly what you need is equal part surprise and sensory relief. The serendipity of being open to and trusting in new experience is satiation, and the exchange is the light way satisfaction wears on the fulfilled soul.

This morning I got the insomnia second night in a row, laying here on cousin Kate's $20 second hand couch in her retro Goodwill house which is really a second floor apartment in Lower Queen Anne's. Same insomnia that got me the night before at Jill Bard's in Beaverton outside Portland. Summer Solstice power. And me whose soul normally is dependant on quiet time to vision and ebb and flow with Nature and her tides has instead just been living it out in my daily adventures in the Pac Northwest. And how powerful that trust and serendipity has been. But still it didn't stop my soul from wanting depth of inner vision under this fluxing power of the night and the sun. When I woke Tuesday morning in Gretchen's cottage last day on the Oregon Coast Jill in bed next to me her having driven down to spend a child-free day with an old girlfriend and the sun and the sea, us having spent a full day in Newport laughing til we couldn't speak, I slid open the slider to hear the ocean whir one last time and had to thrust myself in to the day: Hello Friend! My heart seized, it felt like how it did when I was a kid then a teenager and we would leave Ocean Pines at the end of the summer. It felt like the tide washing out, like retreat, an achy flush of being aware and sentimental and powerless to anything but the emotional movement inside.

I did not want to leave. There was no denying it~I had no desire to leave the Oregon Coast this week because it meant soon I would have to go home. And comparatively speaking, the life that I left behind me felt stale to how I've been living. I rationalized like I always do that my family is back east, how blessed I am to have them, that my good friends are on the coast that I call home. But in all, there it was, the tide of me fast rushing...the spirit place of ribbony mountain energy on my skin, of crashing Pacific on rocks like castles, of the poetry in the wind. Of the Oregon peace and happiness of home that made my heart cartwheel again and again.

I boarded the train for Seattle yesterday with a resignation that I had to fish for, and then purposefully choose to maintain. Seattle in my head meant that my trip was almost over. Once I got settled in the train station and Jill left I fidgeted around: wound up looking on Facebook, which after going back to Breitenbush and living so fully rounded and enlivened up in the green green woods and next to the river with Paul in his tent last week, I had zero desire for Internet or phone connectedness and so cut it out after that. Mandy and Sean had each posted sentiments of love and missing me yesterday tho, and it made me yearn, and the yearn made me trust in the path before me that I still cant see. And so with that I was carted along over the Willamette into Washington, and then along the waterways the train soft-running its currents through me in a gentle lulling shhhhhhh the whole trip long. I got to Union Station which little to my knowledge is across the street from Pioneer Square and memories flooded me completely and in my consciousness, just on the tip of my head it was 2004 again when I followed Larry around the city on daily walkabouts to eat at alleyway ethnic counter tops and peruse used bookstores and take pictures in the late light that always comes out over Puget Sound. And I was filled, instantly and quite entirely, with glee to be here, to be in Seattle again.

The cabbie took me to cousin Kate's and instantly I realized how good a midwife she'd be for me in this final being born stage I'm in, this birthing at the Solstice tide from who I've been to who I'm now meant to be and become. She herself being the perfect blend of classic values that I ascribe to the sacred tribe of Poet Rebel Madwoman and Muse's that I myself am most connected to as one and have reconnected to in the most important way on this trip of all things eternal and authentic and most true, and of future techy cutting edge youthfullness that one only finds in the city. They, for example, have not one piece of furniture that is younger than 1980, but also dont have TV but instead a projector set up through Micah's I-Pad and I-phone that stores programs and apps on this thing called Boxee that can like, turn your blog in to a TV show and wild stuff like that....Just the perfect blend of inner illustriousness classic edge and modernity to assimilate me in to all things yet and meant to be....

Anyhow I gotta go now, I have a walkabout in front of me which will culminate in meeting up with Larry at Pike Market at 12:30 and we haven't seen one another since his wedding in 2007.
Then I'll meet Kate and we'll walk and explore the day away.

Hell to the fucking yea.
~~
What I am listening to, my as of this morning favorite, compliments of Micah's Musical Maniacal Genius Craftmanship Colosseumass: Born Roughians