PostCard to Boo

If there were room on the back for all a heart can hold, for all I have to say, I'd print this pic and put in the mail today so that it could get to you by the morning and you could tape it to your wallet or your suitcase and my love for you would go to Costa too, a talisman to guide you and protect you and keep you safe...

What would I do if it weren't for you? From that very first walk ions, whole LIFEtimes, ago. Cannon Drive when I first told the truth about Josh and all my heart had to hold and fear and still to give. How I talked and talked forever and thought the Catholics in me will never live this down. Talking out loud about my depression for the first time. How good it felt to know by blood and bones and a house that's home that you were those things walking, right there next to me: my own home, my own quiet steady place that will never disappear. That no matter what I had to say or changes I had to make you wouldn't judge, or leave me, or stop showing your love....

Remember our first big dip? Last year? I was barely myself back then, just cracking open that little precious egg of me. I didn't even tell you I was coming said meet at Dumser's for a surprise!! And you. You! Confused but still eager, willing, to jump right in! Still a baby, barely through gradschool by then, still with the bandage wrapped long around your arm named comfort, those visors that we all have to rip and rewear, rip and rewear... How I worried, but never ever once lacked my belief in you.

How amazing you are with your wide and boundless heart, your refusal to lessen or back down. How you stay so gentle, so tender and loving through this--through life! How you never let it harden you, just keep notching it up a step in return. How wonder-full you are, how centered on the wonder, the what next!!? in this life. How inspiring, how big and soft and fabulous you encourage everyone else to be---

It's sad about the house, it's funny we haven't talked just with each other about this yet. Usually we talk about it all, and before everyone else knows, too. But our rule, let our parents do their own thing? Keep Us to ourselves, not get caught up in the McDrama. I love you, Boo. What would I do? Without the walks, the swims, the frozen drinks?! Thank you. For the late nights, dark. The quiet tears. The lunchin skeezy jokes. For the dangerous dancing, thank you. For my spirit, found again. And the couch, again and again, night after night, all these years. But especially this year. Summer 09. For past midnite thank you darlin. For the waiting up. Cigarettes. Facebook. Tears. Laughter. Dark. The little nest of us. The love.

Mike, do you have ANY IDEA what a good thing you've got?

Travel well, sister. Shmunk-in! Friend. I love you more than words or a heart could ever say