Detours, windows, doors & light: this week around kent county

Well, so i got a job. it all happened very fast and i am not feeling, say, fluent in the language of my new life just yet. and yet, it seems so right, so somehow as if i am finally, after a long long detour, stepping in to the facts of my life as if my soul just snapped open like an old 1980's blind and windowed me in on things: this is how it is meant to be--these are your moments, 'writ in eternity'....

i was of course waiting tables--slinging grease is what always goes in the back of my head when i say that, which is true regardless the level of white linen affair in which one is involved. it's all grease, it's all over you at night's end, it's all always in your hair and lingering not so much as a coating on your skin as a smell, or a sense, or a flavor of the over-processing of your life that ends up going with you, that you end up carrying around with you and wearing like a form of yourself not so true but also that you quietly can't seem to rid.....
it is the function of this life, no? to carry these skins of us on our back and at once deep within, and to try not to struggle when they are slow to come off, and try too not to force the transmutation...?

oohhhh, so i am an intake counselor, a liason for students of Adult Ed once again. but now sooo far to drive to my new job each day, so far to drive from my home. yet this feels so good to me, exhilerating and also stunning at the very same time.

ohhhh! and my eight pairs of ohsogorg trouser pants some wide-legged some high-wasted all so demurely chic and debonair hanging there on the new love affair i have which are my legs... literally make me quiver. that's right, i got hired by 11 and was shopping shopping shopping and remembering my body by 2....

in other not as fashionable news, but good to remember--authentic and just as true: coming out of my detour this week coincidently corresponded w touching down on so many lovely parts of our home land here in kent and queen anne's county...

sammy g

sammy g, bran and i were out on the chester monday eve. ran in to timmy p and greg down at ben's dock taking a swim before pearl creek's band practice. this is where we all go for relaxing dips, down the very end of blue heron farm lane--i wonder does ben know how often the all of us, at varied times, are there swimming even if he's not around?

our swimming hole at ben's dock

tuesday nite was ladies nite out--laura leah and i surprised brooke, who's getting ready to move, on her own, back in to her historic 13 bedroom unfinished hotel-house outside tolchester w the brand new wrap-around porch. we went out and about in naptown, our way of saying go on grrrrrl and also each quietly getting to remember that we are none of us ever alone...

brooke, laura, leah

then, thursday nite we all potlucked at mark and andrea's place out to rock hall. (you love the vernacular i know go ahead and sweat it) mark is this funny easy too come across as shy guy but so quik w the dead-on sharpheaded wit once you've been around him enough that you literally get moved to cry w your laughter...i know, it's happened to me way more than once. and andrea is his baltimore-living girlfriend who weekends it at their work-in-progress farm house here on the shore. he's a wash coll alum, so is she, like many of us. he's working now for the college on oyster restoration and other local sustainability grant and projects, taking whatever is handed to him and going along with it in his steady kind of mark walk-run. he, too, worked at the resteraunt w me. we quit the same week.....















mark's front porch & stairs, under construction

mark and andrea

their way cool bathroom door, handcrafted by mark!!

(probably i should have taken more pictures of the finished rooms--their lovely warm kitchen or the study upstairs. but guess that's for another potluck....)

and lastly, this morning, in our bedroom. how very good, still and clear the light can feel sometimes...

Anicha Anicha

Well, the digital didn't show til yesterday. So here is my life, no job as of last night but a potential interview? waiting in the wings. And another restaurant gig as a good possibility, with a killer talented chef friend of mine--her dream come true!! tho the plans keep getting pushed back for the opening date. And me, robo-eating like these fricken doughnuts might catch me a buzz or help me forget the night or at least drop me some of my inhibitions and make me dance better, sure I dont want to wait tables for the rest of my life but confused as to any other move. We shall see...letting the river flow is what I say I am doing but the rib-grease on my face, if I consider too deeply, clues me in to perhaps some deeper feelings of untapped stress...

Getting ready for Kat's wedding this weekend. And instead of looking for jobs, just hoping on this one phone call and otherwise researching grad schools. Been a couple of years, and anti-institution as I am I still am having these moments where I catch myself, like, Seriously? Seriously are you thinking of getting involved in the dogma of academia again? Then I check my righteousness and my own common roadblock of me and remember with a breathless swing how much I love knowledge and NEED and CRAVE stimulation. Then I think about having a smoke. And laugh and roll my eyes at myself cuz I sure do change from day to day. Or minute to minute. Anicha Anicha, this is Sanskrit: Changing. Changing. The nature of all things....The river as it flows...

(Ughhgh too deep for me right now. Chips and salsa it is.)

Here are pics from my farm, followed by a brief poem by moi.


"My Tree"


Sunflowers in the garden







The Only Truth is Change

I have all

the whole perfect world

balanced

on this thin silver of

this tip

oh pencilprint

oh failure

oh searching

oh simple

several

masks of god

oh blessed blasphemy

of me