From day to day

Reinvention.  It takes time.  That's what's going on:  I am concentrating on where all the rubble has landed.  This is not a bad thing.  Just, concentrated.  And a lot.

Found out that I didn't take out enough money for grad school.  And missed the due date for the minimum deposit.  The strings, when they unravel--even if the grand purpose is to re-ravel them in a more lovely, fitting way--they are wispy and numerous.  Quite a lot to keep track of.  So I have sat down in the middle of it all: the unfurled mess springing out from every direction, just to do what is the next priority from day to day.

Tonight I will apply for more loans and figure out the cheapest way to buy books which are not covered by loans. I am trying to be different then I am.  Not anti-institution and seeing red over the minuscule crap.  I keep perspective by laughing a lot and thinking about how grateful I am for the beach and sunshine and following through with what I always said I'd do.  Wow.  I think of surfing a lot and thank life in my head.  It makes me feel the smile in my heart--this is it, my life.  The only one I've got, I am dealing with the choices I made.  That keeps it all in check.  Mostly.  Also I have friends that listen to my foul mouth and laugh while I blow off steam.  I value that they value that side of me, too.

Trying not to think only of my new surf board and my book.  My book is yelling for me so loud that my morning meditation is actually aligning with my Ipod day after day.   My surf board's named Wiss.  After my aunt.  Monday morning was her inaugural ride and from the line up I popped up then sunk the side and fell right off.  This happened three times then Chelsea who's eleven was like is that board a little tough for you?  Yea I said I'm definitely wobbly and I took the next wave in to shore break.  Nici hollered little tips for the next hour.  The board is a full foot shorter then anything I've rode.  Finally she pointed to a spot to put my right foot and I did and was up just like that.   White water warrior again and again I never went back to the line up just told Nic I'd be out soon then eventually went and got a burrito instead.  Haha California when did you happen?

Grad school syllabus has hundreds and hundreds of pages to read each month.  Surfing writing reading repeat.

Lots to tie up before I get to that, tho~