So I am going to try to blog more.
(Got that Kelly, here it is, in contract!) I told Erika over email I will check-in on my blog as much as I can. I will rely on the only thing I've ever fully committed to--writing--as the frame to help me commit to the other new changes on the helm. Writing, which I once wrote is my tool, and my reward. How it keys me in, cuts my trail in to my inside. Then leaves an archive map, a way back, to who I am just behind.
Summerland on Friday was so rad. When I used to sit in my room in the Pines and relax and breathe and listen to my poemas de la luna on Pandora over and over again I would feel where on the map in California that I belonged. And it was always Ventura. All along.
Not that I'll move. Just, I can't wait to have this reason to go there where the trees breathe and the coast is quiet once a month. This reason, this commitment to myself. In a book I got at the bookstore at Pacifica on Friday it says They need to mature before they will be able to protect themselves. The book is about unfolding the sacred in women and the quote refers to symbology in the dreams of the two writers. Symbols speaking to the burgeon of understanding they were growing of their individual spirits. And I read this, and knew communion. And thought yes, yes. These next steps are about that. I know where I am heading, always have. But I must go make this deep passing now. I need to mature my vision so that I will know how to protect it. And in protecting it, allow it its process to grow.
Nick and Norah's was great. It made me want a boyfriend to run around in whimsy with taking random roadtrips up PCH stopping to eat ice cream and singing really loud out the windows. It made me relish the youth in me. Going to Derryn's today for a BBQ. Looking forward to yoga and a long bike ride in the sun. Talking to Beth tonight.
There. Check in, number 1.
2 comments:
"I need to mature my vision so that I will know how to protect it. And in protecting it, allow it its process to grow." Kelly, this is brilliant!!!! I love it, thank you!!
This is what it reminded me of and I need to practice more- I have noticed how I limit myself by relating the future to the past...when we let go of the past having anything to do with our future vision, we truly can mature into what it is we are meant to become, with no limits, and more authentic, open hearted and open minded, it grows naturally without our interference....and this is YOU, my dear, totally authentic and awesome!
ahhh, i dont know about that grl?! half the time i feel bat shit like i'm running no wheels in the sand! but i can tell you that when i get a little thread of inspiration--like that thought about maturing my vision, then writing about it helps me commit so that it's no longer just an idea~
i love your thoughts about limiting ourselves. that has been on my mind a ton lately specific to love and men. like being willing to have a totally open, new experience. feelin ya, grrrlie!! thanks for stopping by!
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