Being a girl

Ok, so I didn't do morning pages today.  Those are my first thought journal downloads in the morning, a process/tool that never, ever fails to plug me more in to me in a focused, realized way.   When I use it fairly consistently.  I didn't do morning pages today because I hit snooze FOUR times!!  I could barely keep my eyes open getting out of bed!  And I realized it's because I had no afternoon espresso or nighttime redbull this weekend.  Just my daily two cups in the morning.  My body was so unwound and deeply tired/sleeping this morning that I only had one cup today for breakfast and replaced my afternoon Americano with chamomile tea.  I want to listen to my body as part of this new direction.

Inbox full of emails by the time I was done teaching.  FAFSA, general application done.  Stopped at the Teacher's Union to see about loans through them.  Went downtown to write my 2000 words and start on my essays for the rest of the application.   Two paragraphs and my computer dies.  I thought I could throw myself through the glass window right now.  That is very dramatic I know.  But to look at my calm, centered face one would not likely think:  that girl she must be thinking that she'd like to jump out of that chair and hurtle herself through the glass window on to the streets of downtown Huntington.  Hmmm then what would the tourists say....it maybe is not so good to keep your tension bottled but then the computer dies.  What the hell else can you do?

I called Justin back home panicked but he didn't answer because he works a zillion jobs in the summer. So I talked to Samil at Dell for an hour and got it all straight.  Computer working again my momentum was gone though.  I came home on my bike it was too late for yoga. I left my mat at the yoga center a couple weeks ago and it's not there now.  Meaning when I get off my blog here I will practice on the floor on a sheet or tapestry.

Derynn's bbq was super fun.  Lots of great food and people and also bocci ball which I haven't played since I left Chestertown.  It made me really happy.  Tonight we are going out downtown and I invited a guy I met.  Tomorrow I will begin again.  Tonight I will put music on and shower and just tinkle around getting dressed and doing my hair and letting time dissipate a while, being a girl.