Happy and smiling by your side.

I was quiet most the day, with my headphones in, til in the kitchen while Jen was making dinner I got some texts from someone who used to me smile. We only get reception on the sill in the kitchen.  He still makes me smile which is good, and after that with him and with Jen I met the others and the mood had changed.  Biff Poundcake, Mike Hunt Pudding, Desert Cumming were all there.  Our trannie characters.  Our favorite passtime is coming up with storylines and characters.  We have care bear names, awkward dance troop names, rapper names.  Reggae names.  And settings and scenes of course to go with each.  The list goes on. They always include us, real us not alter ego us's of course, gasping and wiping tears from our eyes. Tonight in the time it took me to chat with Jen in the kitchen our trannie characters had turned in to assassins.  Making my drag alias, Rufus Lemonbar, the six foot tall James Brown-esque black man in a yellow leather tuxedo  and a feather in his hair, a dangerous killer.  Rufus-me lives in Detroit and with my new assassin capability I'm adept at using my dagger/cane to slice the throats of all who seek to repress the world of freakiness and getting down.  Watch out!

Maybe you had to be there.

In any case my time here, freaky and down as it's been is almost over.  I am distinctly aware of the fact.  I love these people, these hills, these trees.  The way it all smells, how it is in our little room in the cabin where we sleep.  I will miss it so much, and am caught with the longing also now to continue on.

I leave for good on December 13.  When the new year turns I will be living out of my new California-tagged car til I find my place to write in the sun.  This is my life.  This is my life!  On Tuesday I am going north to Oregon for the holiday and so maybe it's this, the 8 hours of 101 that beckon between here and there and the delight, the freedom, the lightness I know I'll feel when I get on the road again.   It brought flashes all day long of driving out here, from Maryland to here.  August seems so, so long ago.  August, when I had my Versa and my sunny Ocean City tan.  The million doors I've walked through since then.  All these people here.  Holy California.  This great big farm. After the tran-sasin's stories ended tonight and our laughter died down, after dinner was done and Em and Nick had gone, Jen put on one of her favorite songs.  I love to dance to it, I guess it's one of my favorites now too.  When we dance party in the big tent she always puts it on and tonight was no different, her Bebee and me.  Put it on and dance along.  Imagine me, Honey Bear me, Mama me, "Peaches" Christ me, Rufus Lemonbar me, happy and smiling by your side.