That girl

Lately I've been hanging out a lot with this girl. She's kinda tough and I forgot how sharp her edges are and also how fricken quick she is. There's a lot going on inside that she's trying deeply to protect. It's summertime in this shot above, near the end. 1994. Labor Day Weekend to be exact. Her and her then best pal Lindsey used to take pics like these at the end of every summer. Immortalization. She absolutely balks at fraud and authority. Balks, actually, is probably not the right word. Bucks is far more accurate.

She is grounded in this picture because of a three-day house party that she threw in July. It went like this: Her and her long time on-again off-again thugg of a boy-man were sitting in the air condition one stickyhot Marilen day watching MTV and making calls to get some weed. It was hard to find the acid was everywhere but barely no bud. Her ankles were both busted from the first song, first set, first band to play Lollapalooza that year which was Green Day. The pit erupted like mad and it was heat and it was sweat and it was fierce and her too big MaryJanes didn't do enough to secure her feet in the rushing and pummelling her way through. She went down and ate a face of dirt before a hand was thrown to pull her up but it was too late by then the ankles both were twisted and sprained. He was shirtless and fat and stank and got beer on her the guy who landed fullweightdown on her feet and calves and the quiet there just for a minute of ohnowhat'snext but then that was okay, too, the acid made it not that bad and then he was up and threw her his hand. So two almost broke ankels rest of the day at the festival and somehow she used this and work as an excuse to stay home when mom left with her bro for the beach the next day. So house empty, a party was planned and it was a shittonnafun and worth every late night that she had to feign work as a greasy sub girl at the pizza shop in order to still get out and about and around her mom's imposed restriction. This is one of the first shots of her learning. Learning how to be her. June, 1992. Ocean City, Maryland, down near the pier. These are the first days of the Immortal series. 93's shots and the ones in 94 will be taken at Labor Day, a means of marking the course that she by then has learned she runs. Summer is the prime time of exploration. She didn't know it then, but this shot is the beginning of Cataloguing, and so takes place in June. Archiving. Life of Journeyer. Purveyor of Soul and Experience. Search to be made, or to prove what is, Real.

My father moved to California the day before this picture was taken. Mom took us all to the beach that same afternoon. Moment of linger in the driveway home from the airport and then a sigh and nothing, let's grab our bags and head for the beach. I got caught that weekend again with cigs mom found them in my purse but me and Linds didn't get caught sneaking out the side room at the Pines beachhouse to cross the ditch out back feet all muddy and 15-year-old pissy on light beer at Todd Johnson's houseparty through the woods.

It was the first time she ever really snuck away.


It wouldn't be the last.