A day to process

Poem for the day, by me

This is just another ordinary day: snow coming
down like dust, the cup of coffee I mic’d
lukewarm.
And of course
I am running late.

There is not one person out there
not a people
not one
Not struggling to keep tented, alight
his heart full of gold.

What, ideally, independently
are we all worth? What’s it matter
this bird on the lawn
that church, red-roofed
on the side of the road?

In our valleys
green trees rise
steam pours across cement
a handle hangs lazy
off the mailbox it’s meant to
close, protect.

We are all broken,
getting better
We are all
getting better, staving off
the worst break.

I, here the navel of the world
my mountain, my airplane
my cold dark night.
My curtains, waiting to be
parted, pulled.

My car tires pass trees & sidewalk.
These places we go
that take us so far.
These places that arouse
how far we each may go.
___

Yesterday I came home bummin. It was not a hard day for any reason, simply an emotional day, aware as I was of how very much I've lost in the past three months. I've kept quiet on here about Brandon and I and how and why the circumstances of me moving out of Anngar and on to Choptank went down. And out of respect for him I will continue to keep that area mostly off limits. But at least I will say this: At times what one needs most is quiet and time. And certainly, within that quiet and time what one finds is her self. And sometimes little parts of that self are full of longing, regret and also just plain sad.

Yesterday, start to finish, was sort of that way.


I got home though, and as almost always happens right when I seem to need it, here is my lovely roomie Teena cooking up a feast. I swear, the first time I came home on the night of a day she'd spent entirely in the kitchen I could still feel, even practically see the joy and light dancing all around, even though she was already in bed. This is a woman in love with, and totally dedicated to, her art.


And thank god for me!! that that's so! Because boyohboy there is nothing like pork soaking in garlic and fat to melt a woman and make her feel warm again, and whole.....