WAITING

I am a waitress.

Do you understand the implications of that sentence?

I laugh at all manners of corny jokes in a way that doesn't seem forced or annoyed. I balance trays the size of small Volkswagen's on my shoulder without spilling any of the glass-encased liquid-bearing weigh-the-same-as-small-boulders drinks that impare your ability to make good decisions when it comes to what is appropriate for a retiree to say to a smiling chipper young lady. I recite with a genuine smile answers about any and all of the food on our menu and  I dont bat an eye when you ask do we have salmon EVEN THOUGH DESPITE YOUR FIVE MINUTES OF STARING AT THE MENU NOWHERE DOES IT SAY WE HAVE SALMON and I already told you the catch of the day.  I SEPARATE YOUR CHECKS. I make you smile even when you are short or rude to me, because I truly believe that serving you is a way to be of service and lift me up out of me, a way to touch hearts that are charged with being in my presence for the hour or so that you are, and I really mean that: making you feel good is my goal. I can remember six things at once. Including cocktail sauce for the guy in the corner two soda refills at the highboy that kid needs extra napkins (oh god somebody sit those kids down before I "accidentally" spill the Volkswagen on them) ask the kitchen to get that salad out before the soup for the man who just decided at the last minute he wants a salad too oh god I wonder if the boys are in the kitchen check and see if the boys are in the kitchen no they gotta be in the kitchen because table 101 is still waiting on that steak up-cook get the steak up-cook out oh that works perfect because you can drop the bill to the table next to them, ok check on the steak up-cook grab the naps and coc say hi to your two new tables on the way let them know you'll be right with them and o yea, that table Jen just picked up says they know dad dont forget to go by and smile, and make an ironic comment about golfing in the cold and let them know how he's been.  I remember all this and still I keep my cool--I smile! when you come to me with an impatient look on your face waving a credit card at me wanting me to stop everything else I am doing now in order to SEPARATE YOUR CHECKS.  I SEPARATE YOUR CHECKS.  Oh wait, did I already mention that?

I am a waitress.  I listen to your problems and also to your complaints and I smile anyway even though you are 68 years old and just tried to pick me up.   You think it's okay to sit down all eight of you and run me back and forth because I am young and that is my job--which I make less than $3 an hour doing and you still seperate your check, all eight of you, eight seperate burgers or rockfish sands with water to drink and then you each leave me one dollar and some change.  I smile anyway.

KNOW WHY?

Because I am a writer and even though waiting demands my physical energy it leaves my emotional untouched, which is what I require to give it all to the page.  And it teaches  me about life, again and agian reminds me the basics of human nature.  People just like a little attention, and to feel good.  They like to be warm, and full.  So simple, so very very simple. The people I work with have fun, they dont stress, it's great. I am almost always so happy to be around them that by the end of the night I feel light and renewed, no matter what.  And then I get to come home late and leave work at work when I walk out the door, which is AMAZING. And even though I'm keyed up adrenaline-full it's cuz I got my exercise tonight, and when it was all done I assed-up with the guys in the kitchen until I was chill enough again to remember life's all good.  I am responsible for your happiness but only for the hour or so you are in my charge, and 9.5 times out of 10 we both walk away authentically smiling.  And whether or not that means anything to you at the time, it's hell of a good practice for me.

I have been a teacher,(a good one), an intake counselor, a resource manager, a team leader, a troubleshooter, a secretary, a tech-writer and in all things those roles easily still come out of me.  But the one thing I've done on and off for 17 years now that might well be the most useful and far-reaching role, especially when the mutherfuckingwheels are fallin off this bitch, is WAITRESS.  Because 17 years has taught me how to smile and keep it cool, and to trust.  Tonight, even tonight even this too shall come to an end.