Our women, our men

There's a lot on my mind and a lot I have to get done and the best part is: nothing but time.  I get home if I'm lucky the clock says 3 or even 2:45.  If I'm not it's close to 4.  Either way I've noticed the sun is still out and like today it was actually balmy and so easy to be motivated to get outside for fresh air.  That and high high doses of vitamin B this year have kept me out of the dark as winter closed in and all around.  Doesn't change the fact--I run to my car, I run from my car.  When it's really, real cold anyway. Especially if the wind's blowing.

I talked to a friend I've known a while.  Through most of her twenties, which no one tells you are the hardest fucking deal.  All that figuring out who and what you are but doing so under the guise of what's alright and what's not in trying to figure out how just to get by.  The whole jolt of being a twenty-something and zero guidance.  Zero myths, zero heros, zero equals nothing at the end of the day and what's that leave you with all these legless twenty-something identity crisis messes.  No one wants a career any more there is no middle class and no persuasion to give yourself the time to adhere to your special gifts there is no satisfaction if you're doing something menial, without reason, or that you dont somehow love or have made acceptable compromise on behalf of understanding with your self.  Otherwise you just go to the bar every night and get drunk after work.  All these twenty-somethings, the entitlement generation, no one can help it--American Dream shadow, this is what we've grown.  Anyhow I've known her a long, steady while and I told her my secrets today she's one of the best secret holders I know.  I remember the one time driving along in her pick-up truck, this was years ago right before in 2004 me going on the road and just knowing, she gets it, the deep knowledge.  She gets what's always come natural to me.  Just driving along and I had the clearest drawing in from my center, then release, and I understood.  Teach her as much as you can about the wise women stuff she, she deep inside is ready to waken and know.

Tonight on the phone I said to her what I've said for years.  We really are on the frontier of this stuff.  Emotional autonomy.  That whole-bodied way of being true to our selves by allowing every full aspect of who we are.  Owning our whole full power.  And learning to talk about it, to not be afraid or judge as weird our emotional and instinctual and intuitive natures.  And of course the whole topic of men.  The many different layers of this.  The true bready friendships.  I have two who are like that. And then the host of my brother's friends.  Then the ones you cant get enough of, the ones who are potential, and the ones you have to ask of yourself the main and only question.  To sleep with or no....and the painful truth how it sometimes only and all comes down to that.

I have a ton of single girlfriends.  And we're all in one thing together:  the focus we've learned/are learning to put in to the things we care the most about.    It's 2011.  The third wave of feminism is Gather The Woman oriented, teaching one person at a time how to value the qualities that in all humans for years have been oppressed.  None of this single forever if single by 30 isn't it funny that that's actually indoctrinated?  In the US?  Or was?  In response to this funny rooted idea I said:  we are on the frontier and so are our men.  What will that do for romance?  When we be the change, own who we are and our full needs, how we give others around us permission to do so. This is Re-defining. Being with men when and if the time is right who have come in a whole autonomous way in to there selves.  I dont for an instant buy my mom's generation's, my grandmom's eye-rolled men are men and will never change.  IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU CHOOSE IS ACCEPTABLE.  I think of some of the finest men I know.  They are full-bodied, emotionally literate, masculine strong and sexy as hell, funny and witty and amazing to be around.  They are real, they are true, they are willing to challenge themselves.  I am proud of who we are.  My girlfriends who are committed to this journey of self, my guyfriends who are committed, too.

When we hang up it's because the phone is dying.  I have about five or six precious hours in front of me and three projects, all writing, laid out to be organized all over the kitchen table.  The sun is down by now and it is cold in the house.  I turn on youtube videos of Jane's Addiction to set me in the writing mood, then choose two things to get done for the night other than creative write on my blog.

It's a good life.